I am having a makeup identity crisis, so let's just talk more about blush.

So, this week.  This week, I bought a plane ticket to visit friends across the country in 61 days, and my biggest concern is not wanting to check all my makeup because I don't like being that far away from it and WHAT IS SOMEONE STEALS A NARS BLUSH.  I assuaged this worry by buying a cute dress so that my legs have some breathing room for when it is BALLS HOT:

Why hello, Old Navy fitting room.  It matches my eyes.

I also set out on a mission to prove that I could wear Nars blush in Exhibit A, since the entire internet said it was best suited for women of color and fair-skinned ladies may just want to stay away.  Legit, historically it has been hard to find good color matches if you are at either end of the color spectrum.  Too light, everything makes you look like a clown. Too dark, nothing shows up on your skin.  I am not saying I completely feel the pain of the women who had nothing but Covergirl's Queen line (which I think has been since discontinued) back when all we had where I live was drugstore makeup, but when someone tells me, oh pshaw, you can't wear that color, it was like when my ex-husband told me that I couldn't go out and get more tattoos.  I went out and got one.

Here is Nars in Exhibit A:

I keep seeing it described online as a FIERY ORANGE.  No.  It is red.  It is a bright, matte red.  So the first thing I did  when I got it was wear it to work:

I had to do a lot of blending and remember a little of this color goes a long way.  On my skin tone, which is a NC15ish if we are talking MAC, 115 in Makeup Forever HD foundation, and an N2 when I have a tan in the only drug store foundation I will touch, L'oreal True Match, I had to diffuse the color LIKE A BOSS.  A little goes a long way, but I had to blendblendblend, then set with powder foundation and setting powder.  It worked though, and I proved the naysayers wrong.  By the time I got home from work (some 9.5 hours after putting it on), the setting powder and powder foundation were wearing a little thin and I kind of looked like I had just run a breathless mile, but it won't be a blush I never touch again.  I actually really liked the color, which was a pretty true red on my skin, giving me a rosy cheek look.

Yesterday, I wore Nars Lovejoy:

Not sure where the bad shadow came from, but the color is a little rosy with brown undertones.  I loved it on:

You can see my baby fine hairs on my face again, which is totally hot. (Fun story: one time I decided I wanted to get my entire face threaded for flawless makeup application.  So I did, and apparently I am allergic to the lotion they use because my face was a contact dermatitis mess for 2 weeks which ruined any future thoughts of doing the same thing. Don't be me.)  The color is buildable and doesn't go on too heavy, but seriously, I looked flawless:

This brings me to my makeup identity crisis.  In those two photos, I am wearing Nars Heat Wave semi-matte lipstick.  In the photo showing Exhibit A, I am wearing Nars Pure Matte in Vesuvio.  If you know me, you know that I simply don't do lipstick.  I do lip gloss, usually in a nude color, that I apply once and forget about for the rest of the day.  Apparently all that changed this week.  I decided that I wanted to be a red lipstick person, because dammit, I feel like one on the inside.  I guess I am one on the outside now, too, and it is making me loose my footing a little.

I promised someone a tutorial on how I apply my blush, and that will be up later today. I PROMISE.

One can never have enough blush.

There is nothing that supersedes my love of eyeshadow and eye glitter (the same category, really, but they

 are things I can leave the house without.  I will not leave my house without blush, and seeing someone with foundation on and no blush or badly applied blush that leaves them looking like a clown are tragedies to me.  I seem to always be on a mission to make things work that people say can't work with my skin tone, and for this reason, Nars Exhibit A and Nars Desire are both on their way to me.  But that will come later in the week. 

My go-to company for blush is Nars.  I have never been a big MAC girl, mostly because it isn't sold at Sephora.  I hear good things about everything MAC does, but I am loyal to Nars because their blushes are highly pigmented and many are true to pan, yet can be blended out so that fiery orange you see in Exhibit A is not what shows up on your face (like I said, later in the week; I don't doubt I can do it once it gets here).

Today I wore Nars Outlaw:

and Nars The Multiple Undress Me, which is probably my favorite The Multiple, which I mainly use as highlighters. This one has glitter but not so much that I could even pick it up in a photo of my face.

 
 

Enter awkwardly angled photo of my face:

And up close, where you still can't see any glitter. You can see my baby face hairs, though. Hot.

 

 

These two products go well together and is a deviation from the coral blushes I used for years. It is a deeper rosy pink with some shimmer and The Multiple further highlights my cheekbones. I would say this shade is one of my favorites, but...they all are. Stay tuned for more blush all week long!

 

and on the seventh day, God said....oh wait.

My lighting situation is still BALLS and I am going through crazy dramatic eye makeup withdrawal and I might hurt someone if I don't get my fix soon.

I mees you guys. <3

Let me show you my St. Patrick's Day sparkle.

Products used: 

• UDPP

• NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk

• Sugarpill pressed shadow in Midori (on lid)

• Lit Cosmetics Mary Jane (on lid over Midori)

• Sugarpill Tako & Bulletproof from crease to brow to create the blended out black look

• UD 24/7 liner in Perversion

• Sugarpill Goldilux along bottom lash line

• Benefit They're Real! mascara

I love how this one came out. 

FOTD: St. Patrick's Day kickoff

Products used:

• UDPP in Original

• NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk

• Sugarpill Chroma Lust loose shadow in Tiara (lid)

• Sugarpill Chroma Lust loose shadow in Junebug (crease) 

• UD 24/7 gel eyeliner in Zero

• Buxom Lash in Black

Stay beautiful, party people. 
 
 

FOTD March 14

Products used:

• UD Primer Potion

• Sugarpill Lumi (lid)

• Sugarpill Paperdoll (crease)

• UD 24/7 gel eye liner in Zero

• Kat Von D Sin-Full Lash Mascara in Puro Amor

 

Makeup Politics

Whenever makeup and feminism collide, it seems to turn into an ugly battle of wills; you are accused of either caving to the patriarchy's demands upon you as a woman, or you are eschewing the patriarchy by shaking your fist at the makeup gods (who have a mountain much more colorful than Mount Olympus, or so I am told).  Being on the side of the fence that is often accused of caving to the pressure of the patriarchy, I am often defensive of my use (some may believe it to be overuse, but who asked them, anyway?) of makeup and it is something I have struggled with myself.

I was married for 5 years to a man who thought that a woman had to be "done" to leave the house and it was not a choice, it was What Was Done.  I ended my marriage the day he told me I needed to put on makeup to be presentable to go grocery shopping.  Grocery shopping.  That's the short version, but I have struggled with my consumption and use of makeup in the manner that I do because of the pressure that was put on me to use it and to fit the image that was hammered out for me.  Conversely, being someone who does present herself in bright colors and sparkle for every day wear and tear, I have had to fight the preconceptions that come along with that as well.  I could not possibly be intelligent or witty or empowered, because I spend a half-hour doing my makeup in the morning; empowered women hit snooze and use that extra half-hour to sleep.  Right?

Bouncing around on the internet this morning, I found this well-done photo gallery of 58 female porn stars both before and after makeup.  I also read some commentary in some different corners of the internet, and the dichotomy I discussed earlier made an almost-immediate appearance. Men who like women who look like that are this, women who want to look like this are that, I would rather sleep in the morning, real women don't wear their makeup like that.

There are two things makeup-wise that I noticed that visibly separate the makeup I do on a daily basis to the makeup done on the porn stars: there is extensive contouring and extremely exaggerated filled brows.  And false lashes, which I don't use, but a lot of people do, so I did not count those.  To me, in looking at this gallery, what really made the difference to the smiling women in the before photos, whose looks ranged from stereotypically "beautiful" to "plain" to even on the more stereotypically unattractive side, was the entire way they presented themselves in the after photos.  They aren't giving their best DMV photo smile in the after pictures, but they are giving bedroom eyes and blow job pouts, and they are holding themselves as something to be conquered, a trophy to win.  There is a lot of objectification in porn, and I am not judging the choices of these women, because banking in on objectification that is going to happen anyway could be, arguably, a form of empowerment.  There are plenty of mainstream makeup brands that gained leverage in porn before they ever became household names.  My point is that when I really looked at the photos, it was not about the makeup at all.  The transformation into porn star involved a lot more than a very skilled makeup artist, it involved a purposeful stepping into character on the part of the women featured.

Real women do wear their makeup like that.  I wear mine similarly, and I have never been accused of being a porn star (I was accused of being a prostitute yesterday while wearing eye glitter from Lit Cosmetics, and it wasn't as funny as the commenter thought it was).  I carry myself in a completely different way and if people are going to make assumptions based on what they see on my face in either direction, there is a certain shallowness they are embodying that has more to do with the patriarchy than my makeup does. My makeup is a personal statement of who I am - I am bright colors and sparkle and shine and I give off a certain light and goddamn, I smell good too.  I love to laugh and make people laugh, and I like to discuss Latin American politics and the Spanish language and these are all things you would not assume by looking at a still photo of me.  The use of makeup may have originated with the patriarchy, but with the knowledge that it did, I think it has been taken back in a lot of ways by women and used against that very force.

This entry is in no way cohesive as to all of my thoughts, but it is a muddled, extensive area that I can in no way address all my thoughts on in one blog entry.  Some food for thought, anyway.

Stay beautiful, party people.

I have...GLITTERS.

My Lit Cosmetics order came today and I was so impressed with the customer service I had to do an impromptu video.  I haven't even used the product yet (but really, is it possible I won't like something that sparkles? No.) but Jodie threw in a free color in addition to the free color I got for buying two glitters as well as a mini glitter base and a fan.

10/10 would do business with again.

and on the 7th day, He said "Let there be Sugarpill"

So I ordered a buttload of Sugarpill eye shadow this week because well.  Why the hell not?  I have a problem and it may involve bright colors.  It came today!

Oooooh.  I got Chroma Lust loose shadows in: Lumi, Tiara, Magpie, Junebug, Royal Sugar, Decora, Magentrix, Birthday Girl, Paperdoll, Tipsy, Darling, and Starling and got pressed shadows in Velocity, Bullet Proof, Poison Plum and Acidberry.

I  have swatches!  All swatches were done on bare skin with no base.

Bulletproof is in the very back, Poison Plum is in the very front, mid-right is Velocity, and mid-left is Acidberry.

Aside from the fact you can totally see my watch was pushed way too far up on my arm for way too long, from left to right: Acidberry, Poison Plum, Velocity, and Bulletproof.  The first of each pair is wet and the second dry.  They are all matte and look amazing wet.  I am ambivalent on how they look dry on most of them, except I did not like Acidberry dry at all.

Royal Sugar (blue) and Lumi (white)

I did Royal Sugar (left to right) wet, dry, and wet with Lumi on top of it.  On the bottom, left to right, is Lumi wet and dry.  You can barely see the dry swatch, so don't go blind trying to see it.  It isn't the light either, it is very hard to see dry.  I really like the layering effect of Lumi, how it adds almost a frost to the Royal Sugar.

Right to left: Tiara, Magpie, & Junebug.

Right to left: Tiara, Magpie, and Junebug, the bottom row being done wet and the top dry.  The wet and dry of Magpie are similar but there is still more intense color in all three with it applied wet.  And even with the shadow (ugh, I tried so hard to get rid of that), the colors in this picture are pretty true-to-life.

SO. MUCH. PINK.  Left to right: Magentrix, Decora, and Birthday Girl.

Left to right, with the bottom layer applied wet and the top dry: Birthday Girl, Decora, and Magentrix.  To be brutally honest, when applied dry, all three looked pretty similar to the point I would have trouble picking them out of a line up.  When done wet, Birthday Girl is a pretty pale pink that is still bright enough for my love of ALL THINGS BRIGHT.  Decora is a coral pink and Magentrix a fuschia in the pot, but they looked rather similar wet except there was way more shimmer and glitz with Decora.

Left to right: Starling & Darling

Hey look, you can see a scar from a cigarette burn on my hand.  That's hot.  From left to right, bottom row applied wet and top dry: Starling, then Darling.  Starling is a teal color in the pot, but when applied it seemed more a very blue teal.  Darling is turoquoise in the pot, and wet is a teal like I expected to see with Starling, but when done dry, it is a very green turquoise, to the point I was like, uh, did I have green on my brush? (I did not.)

Left to right: Tipsy & Paperdoll

This looks similar to the picture of the pots I took when I got Absinthe and Weekender but IT'S NOT.  In the pot, Paperdoll is much lighter than Weekender and Tipsy is a lot less yellow than Absinthe.

There is that cigarette burn again.  Pesky little shit.  Paperdoll is a nice lavender that is very faded from what I would expect seeing it in the pot when applied dry, but gives a nice pop of light purple when applied wet.  Tipsy is a grassy green applied both wet and dry, just more bold when done wet.  When compared to Absinthe, Absinthe is more yellow and more of a lime color to me, where this seems more like a true green and did remind me of freshly-mowed grass.

Out of the pressed shadows, I would wear them wet or dry, except for Acidberry, which I would only wear wet because the color was not one that would look good on me at all when applied dry.  For the loose shadows, I would probably stick to wet application for all of them, or if applied dry, it would be for blending purposes over a wet application.  I am not disappointed in any of the shadows though, but let's be real.  Sugarpill never disappoints me.

I also have EYE GLITTERS!!! on the way from Lit Cosmetics and I am so excited to the point a coworker told me that I need makeup rehab.  I can't shut up about EYE GLITTERS!!! Can't wait can't wait can't wait.

Stay beautiful, party people.

 

Blue da ba dee ba ba

Products used:
• Urban Decay Echo Beach from lid to brow
• Urban Decay Cobalt in crease and on lower lash line
• Urban Decay Anonymous on brow bone, blended with Cobalt
• Makeup Forever Aqua Black Cream Liner
• Dior Extase mascara in 090

reasons why I should have bought the 64GB phone in the first place

So this morning, after my friend Nicole gave me the idea of doing a Neapolitan ice cream themed eye, I did it and filmed a tutorial and because I am a dumbass, deleted the video thinking, oh, it is in iMovie after iMovie told me that there wasn't enough space for the video.  THIS IS WHY I NEED the 64GB PHONE. I didn't know when I bought the damn thing that I would be using it to make makeup videos or I MAY HAVE THOUGHT THAT THROUGH A LITTLE MORE.  So, that video was a disaster anyway, so I did a quick mock up of how I did the look and my eyeliner is crooked and I am obviously irritated and my accent is awful but WHO CARES because I look good.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream? Yes please.

I was up at 2 am, eating my feelings in a bowl of mint cookie crumble ice cream and was inspired.

I announced that I would have one up before I realized how tired I was, so it isn't my best work, but I think I did a better job at explaining what I was doing while I was doing it.  I hope you guys like it!

Stay beautiful, party people.